Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Aliens Exist

So yesterday morning on cnn.com, a live streaming news feed allowed my roommates and I to watch a panel of UFO experts deliver a public briefing in Washington. After rambling on and on and on about a bunch of technical jargon, the speakers concluded that the Obama Administration had thirty days to admit to the public that we've been in contact with aliens, or they would be taking all of their substantial evidence to another country. France was mentioned as a backup, though I'm not sure how serious they were. They maintained throughout that the US needs to assume a position of leadership in this next phase of mankind's existence before another country steps up to the plate and beats us to befriending the aliens (more or less).

Of course, my friends and I were shocked. Had we just been told that aliens EXISTED? And that the government had THIRTY DAYS to admit it? Holy shit!

After a few moments of stunned conversation, we agreed to reassess the video. When we went back to cnn's website, though, the "breaking newsfeed" was gone, and no mention whatsoever of a UFO briefing in Washington existed.

I'm serious. Honestly.

Twelve hours later, and after several dozen fruitless attempts to convince others about what we'd seen, the following news article was posted:


What happened to everything else?!? The world at large remains ignorant to what actually went down, and this is one of those things that people have a hard time believing. I'm beginning to sympathize with those who claim to have been probed. Get in touch with me for the full story.

Meanwhile, Stephen Hawking grows gravely ill and twenty-one polo horses "mysteriously" die...

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